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Is there a Lawn Gnome at your place?

If you've been getting bored mowing the lawn lately why not add an extra challenge to your task by decorating the grass with a few gnomes. Any number of lawn gnomes would certainly spice up the job but if you had at least 10 you could create the ultimate lawn mower obstacle course.

However, if it was your wife's idea to decorate the lawn with these little ornaments you may want to take some care in how you position them. Break one and you may receive the "evil eye". Break two and you could find yourself sleeping on the couch for the next day or two.

So what is it with people and gnomes? I have to admit that I think they are the tackiest ornaments and could even surpass lucky bamboo as the top gift NOT to give to your friends this Christmas. Yet people still buy them and still place them on their lawns thinking that they've somehow improved the value of the garden. They don't!!

I was visiting Bunnings the other day and checked out their assortment of lawn gnomes. I felt vindicated when I noticed that the most expensive gnome was only $6.95 - I told you they were tacky! There were rows of them, though, which suggested that they were more popular than I first thought possible.

I began to become very anxious when I thought that if reincarnation were true (not that I believe that it is) then karma would suggest my next lifetime might be spent as a lawn gnome. It's a very humbling concern. I could end up looking like a cross between Papa Smurf and Big Ears.


Someone else in the world still remembers Noddy and Big Ears? I am charmed.

But why limit yourself to dissing the garden gnome? Ahead of it on the Dump This Eyesore list I would have to place the pink plastic reclining pig monstrosity that one of my old neighbours used to display... and trip over... and mow around...

stuart robinson
  • Stuart Robinson
  • Busselton, Australia
  • Email Me

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